Explaining dying

All deaths affect the family and friends as well as those who provide care. However, most people die peacefully. Knowing that there was good care and a chance for the family to say their goodbyes can help you create a positive way forward.

Watch Dying is not as bad as you think (3:49mins), a video by palliative care doctor and author Kathryn Mannix who suggests it is time to break the taboo that exists around death (published 29 March 2018 on the BBC website).

Many people have not sat with someone who is dying and may not understand what is happening. There are some common signs that death is approaching.

While some people are worried about being with someone who is dying, it can be a very special time. Talk to your family member or hold their hand. 

Offer them sips of water or moisten their lips. You could read a special book or play their favourite music.

You are reassuring them that you are there and that you care about them.

Signs that death is near

  • Little interest in food or drinks
  • Spends more time sleeping and may be difficult to rouse
  • Increasing difficulty swallowing
  • Very weak and tired
  • May lose control of bowel and bladder
  • May have rattling sounds in the chest
  • Breathing patterns may be erratic
  • Feet and hands may be cool and mottled.

Remember each person is different and there is not a timetable for dying.

CarerHelp, a partner project, has a pathway with information on how to care for a dying person.

After someone dies

If the death occurred in the aged care facility or if the resident died in a hospital, the staff will help you with practical matters. You will be able to spend time with your family member after death and say your last farewells. The staff will help prepare the body and organise for a certificate of death to be made. This will enable a funeral director to pick up the body for funeral arrangements.

If the older person was living at home, the death is likely to have been expected. Their doctor will probably have been in touch with you or other close friends or family to discuss what will happen next. You can call the doctor's surgery to ask them to visit as soon as possible after the death to help with post-death care. A funeral cannot be arranged without a doctor's certificate.

Equipment such as bed, bedside commode and wheelchairs will need to be returned. Talk with your health care team about arranging this.

If the person was registered with My Aged Care you will need to let them know when someone passes away so that their record can be closed. Any unspent contributions made by the person who has died will be returned to their estate, funds provided by the government are returned to them.

CarerHelp, our partner project, has a sheet on what happens after the death.

CareSearch has information on making arrangements after someone dies in the Patients and Carers section.

CarerHelp's After the death (210kb pdf)

This information was drawn from the following resources:

Page created 08 November 2024